October 22, 2017

On my mind…

By In HealthAndWellness

Open your mind.

I have always been told I’m the “brainy one,” a “smart cookie,” a “book worm.” I love it quite honestly. I figured out at a young age I had a good memory, I loved to read, and learning was fun for me. School was easy and became the first area in my life where I felt success, so of course I liked it. The success fueled more reading, more studying, and then more success. I know learning doesn’t come as easy for some, or that others learn in a different way, but I used my strength to my advantage and got through all levels of education like a skilled sailor.

Later I used my knowledge to be an efficient and proficient nurse. Being respectful and kind and helpful was necessary too, but it was my brains that earned mutual respect from other nurses, doctors, and patients… Still to this day, the file cabinet in my head of random medical ailments and terms shock me a little. I read journals and took any class I could to maintain and grow my knowledge in my career. So, the “brainy” part of my mind grew as it always had, but something else was happening at the same time. I was striving exceptionally hard to be “the smart one,” knowing I needed the validation at work because I wasn’t getting it at home. This is not an ex-husband bashing, he was never the one to reassure me. I’m referring to my own failings here because it should have been ME doing the validating.

It was easy to fall back on something I was great at. My brains could carry me through a lot of things, but though I was feeding my brain with incredible information, I was missing some pretty key pieces. I left out the pep talks, the self-improvement, the affirmations. I left out all the love. I worked to be the best me at work but failed to be the best me, period.

My relationships took the brunt of that, especially with the people I was closest too. I read many books about babies and mothering at that time, but missed the mark on the part where my brain and heart needed to collide. There are areas in our lives where brains can only take you so far. Do you know when my kids started to see their mom at her finest? When I eased up on feeding my mind facts, and replaced some of those with positivity and light and love.

Reconnecting my brain to my heart has been the most life changing experience I’ve had to date. It’s still happening frankly. I’m committed to it being a lifelong adventure. Filling my brain with inspiration, quotes, fantastic literature on growing myself

personally, has led me to my highest IQ yet. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, and in my world, I’m the judge! I’m older now so I don’t always remember things as easily. I’m a lot more distracted with my crazy life, so at times I have to read things a second or even third time. My database loads slower some days. But without a doubt I am more intelligent than I’ve ever been, and it directly correlates to my happiness and to the happiness of those around me.

It’s easy to live life only in the space where we feel successful, celebrated, or knowledgeable. Our brains like it there. It’s not scary. We know what to do. It’s comfortable. But our minds were made to expand. What we think we know is the very tip of the iceberg. Why not dig deeper? Challenge yourself to literally open your mind to new experiences, to self-love, to acceptance, to your heart as your guide. See what happens. I can feel us getting smarter already!

 

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